The Role of Single Parents on Father's Day
Fathers Who are Raising Their Children Alone
May 24, 2009
The United States Census Bureau’s April 21, 2009 "Facts for Features" press release reports that the number of children growing up in a single parent home, regardless of the custodial parent’s gender, has consistently increased over the last three decades. Nearly two million of these households are headed by a single parent father. Of these men, eight percent are raising children under the age of 18, the difficult teen and pre-teen years when children typically require the most emotional, psychological and financial support.
Over half of the single parent fathers are divorced, while a quarter of them have never been married. Not only must these men deal with the stigma that can come with fulfilling the role of “Mr. Mom,” these men must also meet the unique challenges associated with single parenting. In particular, single parent fathers must balance their lifelong training to be emotionally strong with the need to be emotionally available to their children. After all, there is no woman in their household who will provide the critical emotional support and vulnerability that healthy children need.
Other Unique Challenges Single Parent Fathers Face
The National Center for Fathering reports that seeking support from other single parent custodial fathers is a leading challenge facing these men. There is a strong likelihood that many single parent fathers add undue stress and anxiety to their lives because they avoid discussing and sharing fears and concerns they may have regarding disciplining, nurturing and openly communicating with their children with other single parents.
Single fathers must play a key role in the life of their sons and daughters. By example and through taking the time to connect with and guide their sons, fathers without partners have tremendous influence when it comes to raising their sons to be responsible young men who treat themselves, their friends and the women in their lives with respect.
They must help their daughters establish a healthy body image, learn to spot and trust the “right” men and value their own inner guide. They have to each their daughters to trust their instincts while simultaneously heeding good common sense. They have to do this and more while they continue to hold down a full-time job and face off to other men who, thanks to having a woman in the home, may have little interaction with their children.
Other challenges that single parent fathers face include the art of actively listening to and nurturing their children while they provide a spirit of protection and bravery in their home. Unlike mothers who raise their children alone, single parent fathers may not know another man in the neighborhood or community who is filling the same role that they are. This can cause single parent fathers to feel isolated. To offset these challenges, organizations like American Coalition for Father’s and Children, The Fatherhood Coalition, Fathers and Families, National Center for Fathering and Father’s Network sponsor programs to help fathers meet the challenges of raising their children alone.
Father’s Day Started as a Celebration for a Single Parent Man
Single parent fathers deserve acknowledgment and respect. To acknowledge the work of her own father, a woman named Sonora Dodd started Father’s Day. The idea to create a national day to honor fathers came after Dodd listened to a Mother’s Day sermon in church in her hometown of Spokane, Washington. Dodd’s mother was deceased; it was her father, a farmer and a Civil War veteran, who exercised courage and filled the duo role of mother and father in her life as well as in the lives of her five siblings. Initially, Sonora Dodd started the holiday as a way to celebrate her father, William Smart. In time, the holiday spread from Spokane throughout the entire country.
Father’s Day was first celebrated in Spokane, Washington on June 10, 1910. President Lyndon Johnson signed the first presidential proclamation acknowledging the holiday 56 years later in 1966. The day was signed into law as a national holiday by President Richard Nixon in 1972.
While millions of men throughout the United States take a less than active role in the lives of their children, millions of other men do the work of both mother and father. These men’s voices often go unheard. They work hard on the job; they work harder at home and this often absent support or understanding from a larger society.
These men are heroes to their children just as William Smart was to his daughter, Sonora Dodd. On Father’s Day and beyond, single parent fathers will have a lasting positive impact on their children, especially if they allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to gift their children with the chance to truly get to know them.
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