What process does one follow to make a single parented household turn successfully into a blended family?
Single Parenting to Mixed Households
The process of going from a single parent household to one where families are mixed is complicated. There are many factors to take into consideration before making any hasty decisions.
1 - Children. Not only do you need to think about your children's feelings, but if your significant other has children, how do they feel? How do the children get along with each other? Would they be happy in the situation of one big family?
The children can't dictate what you do, but keeping them stable and happy are a big concern for single parents. If they don't want to move, don't like their potential step siblings or step parent, search for a deeper problem. A professional counselor may need to be utilized, especially if your child (or your sig others), starts showing behavior problems or suffers at school.
2 - Housing
Where will you live? Is it big enough for everyone to have their own space to retreat to while adjusting? When everyone is home, is there enough seats around the dinner table? Shared parenting may come in to play for part of the time, but holidays, birthdays and long weekends may become miserable if there are 4 children, two adults and only two bedrooms. Have plenty of rooms available so everyone has a place of their own.
3 - Finances
Will you be getting married or living together? How will the bills be split? A mortgage can only be taken out by a married couple, so don't hand over a large sum of money without knowing what the future holds.
It may seem like your bills will just be cut in half if you share everything, but in reality it might not work out that way. Create a joint account and put money in to it for bills and such, or be prepared to not complain if there is his/her money and yours.
4 - Yourself
Is this what you want? Do you truly love the person you are with and moving in with? Don't create a blended family if the only reason is for financial benefits. Sure, everyone wants to own a boat, a lake house and nice stuff, but re-marrying or marrying to blend two household bills into one isn't the answer. Make sure your needs are genuine.
Stay tuned for part two pf blending families: ways to make the transition easier, fun and games when blending and where to go for assistance if the blending is too rough.
