Being a single mom or dad can be hard, and it can be even harder to get time to oneself. But, as the parent, it’s important to set some time aside that is free of children, not only for sanity’s sake, but to role model for one’s children that a healthy lifestyle means taking some "me" time. Here are some tips for making alone time a regular part of a parent’s life.
Have Set Alone Time Everyday
When a baby is taking a nap is a good time to take time out for oneself, although in the early stages, a parent may be sleeping as well! As a child gets older and loses his naps, a parent can use that time as quiet time where the child can read or play in his room for a half hour to an hour depending on his age and temperament. The earlier a parent starts “alone time” and makes it part of the daily routine, the easier it will be for a child to accept it. It also teaches a child an important skill, which is learning how to play and fill his time on his own.
Explain the Importance of Alone Time
If the idea of “alone time” is new, talk to the child about how it’s important for the child to learn to “use his creative juices” to fill his free time. Make it sound exciting by explaining he gets to do whatever he wants (within reason of course!) with his time and he has the power to decide what games or toys he wants to play with. Talk about how it’s important for a parent to have time alone to think and do things that are needed for the parent to be a happy and functioning person. Explain how everyone wins when the parent is in a good and happy space.
Take Time to Do Something for Oneself
It can be tempting for a parent to use free time to do laundry, the dishes or other chores around the house. Resist the urge! Let the laundry sit and the dishes will be fine for a little while longer. A parent should spend the time on enjoyable and recharging activities. It can be simple things like watching a favorite TV program, reading a book, knitting, painting or listening to relaxing music. A parent could do something more active like a workout or yoga video, gardening or even dancing to one’s favourite dance tunes. Whatever brings a little joy to a parent’s life that is a healthy and fun thing to do, so make sure to make time for it on a daily basis.
A parent needs some “me” time everyday for at least a half an hour. Make it an established part of the family routine, and if it is a new idea, take time to explain to the children why it is important to have alone time. Chores will always be ready and waiting, so resist the temptation to use free time to clean up. Do something that is enjoyable, fun and/or relaxing and just go with it!
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